How Dating Negatively
Affects Marriage
Most of us walk into marriage thinking we
have married our spouse for life. But what happens a few years
down the road when times get tough? How is our commitment
level then? Commitment is not about words we say to each other
at the alter. Anyone can make a promise, but not everyone can
keep a promise. Do you see where I am going with this?
Commitment is about an attitude – a
lifestyle. We must hold the sanctity and beauty of marriage
dear to our heart, even before we ever get married. This is
what commitment is – it’s a way of life. Now that we know
what commitment is, lets take a look at what commitment is
NOT.
Dating is a negative, sexual cultural
practice that has been handed down from generation to
generation that has turned into a process of disrespect and
selfishness. The practice of dating makes us behave in ways
that defends ourselves from ever being hurt. Because this is
what dating is all about - love them and dump them custom.
How many times have you been dumped? How
many times have you been hurt by someone you were dating? The
dating process carries with it emotions such as jealousy,
mistrust, and suspicion, because you really can’t trust
someone who has not made a commitment to the relationship.
We may threaten to leave the person we
are dating because they are doing something that we do not
like. Or perhaps we do not stay faithful to the person we are
dating. After all, we’re not married, right? Dating is all
about “getting something” from the relationship. Dating is
a selfish way to have sex without love. Dating is all about
giving false flattery and praise through the flirting process
just so we can get something for ourselves.
Most people date because they believe it
is the only way to find an acceptable marriage partner. But
this fallacy is so far from the truth. Dating does not
guarantee a marriage partner. It does guarantee getting
deeply hurt and it also guarantees emotional and sexual
disrespect from the person you are dating just because dating
is all about the “me-me” attitude. It is selfish.
A truly committed spouse understands the
principles of commitment and applies those principles into the
marriage. When they stop applying the principles the marriage
begins to regress again into something that resembles the
dating process. A strong marriage relationship takes employing
the principles of commitment into the marriage every single
day! This is why commitment is considered a lifestyle. Love
must be sincere.
Commitment Is An Operation
Anyone can say they are married forever
and still get a divorce. Commitment has to
be felt in our heart and mind and be a part of who we are.
Commitment is an operation – it takes action to accomplish
its purpose. For instance, if you told your husband you were
going to leave him because he had an affair, is that
commitment? No, it is not. If you told your
wife that you were divorcing her because she is an alcoholic,
is that being committed to your marriage? No, it’s not.
Now, let’s make it a bit harder for
you?
If your wife does not respect you and is
always telling you how to behave, and you decide to talk to
other women who appreciate you more, is that commitment? No,
it is not. If your husband can’t hold
down a job and spends too much time with his buddies, and you
get online and find a man who will listen to you, is that
commitment? No, it is not. These things are dating. You have
not come out from the dating scene mentality, even though you
may be married.
This is how the dating scene prepares
couples for commitment in marriage – it doesn’t!
How can someone be truly committed in
their marriage, even if they have had several negative dating
relationships? Well, they must understand
the principles of commitment and apply them into their
marriage every single day until it becomes a way of life for
them. Love Must Be Sincere – it is the only way!
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil;
cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brother
love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:9-10
Copyright 2007 Heaven Ministries -
Angie Lewis
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