How To Love The Man You
Married
Copyright 2009 Heaven Ministries ~ Angie Lewis
Do you love the man you married? What is
a priority in your marriage? Is it doing whatever you want by living the
way you want and getting what you want when you want it?
Or do you and your husband both agree or disagree on
important issues and problems that affect the marriage? When we disregard
our husband’s protection and decisions for us then we are basically
living our own life. This surely doesn’t mean that a husband has the
right to disregard his wife’s feelings either and do whatever he wants.
It works both ways.
Do You Reject Your
Husband Sexually and or Emotionally?
When we get married, we’re not daddy’s
little girl anymore. Well we are, but we now have a new responsibility-to
be a good wife to our husbands. When we get married our life is now with
our husbands. Most men want to be respected for their position as the man
in the marriage. Loving your man is regarding him with respect and
reverence just because he is your husband.
Really listen to your husband when he speaks. He wants to know you are
genuinely interested in him and what he has to say. Remember to always do
fun things together. If you have children family time is great, but
married couples also need time alone away from the children.
I do realize there are many good wives
out there who treat their husbands with respect, but I think there are
just as many who don’t. Why do we disrespect our husbands? It is mostly
because we take them for granted. Loving the man you married is not about
getting your way all the time. It is not rejecting your husband sexually
or in any other way. Just because a woman doesn’t feel like having sex
doesn’t mean she should deny her husband. This works both ways too. Biblically
speaking a man or woman should not keep their bodies away from one
another, except for a time, so as not to bring on temptation.
Are You Respecting the Man You Married?
Respecting the man you married is not
constantly nagging and complaining to him over minor issues and
circumstances going on around the home because you feel the need to
control or have power over him. Some wives do this often and don’t even
realize they are doing it. Husbands don’t even realize this is
happening. Then we wonder why our man strays from the marriage. Is it
because we are devaluing our man’s position in the marriage? I should
think so.
When you feel yourself wanting to gain
some aspect of control over certain issues, stop and ask yourself, “Is
this really worth arguing with my husband over”? Take a deep breath and
relax. Understand that there are, and will be, many, many things you do
not have control over. The more we believe that we can change something to
fit our needs better, the more we get disappointed when nothing changes.
Marriage takes a team effort. Your job is to only worry about your
effort...if your husband still is not putting in his part, then lovingly
tell him so with a kiss and a smile, but don't disrespect him! Where is
that going to get you?
What Can You Change In Your Marriage?
We must have the understanding and
wisdom to know “what we can change”, and the courage to change only
those things that we can actually change.
I know for a fact that we can change our own attitude and we can
change circumstances that we have created. We can influence our
husband’s in a loving, humble way, but this doesn’t mean to control
them or change them. There is
a difference.
We really can't change people without them becoming resentful, but we can
change circumstances that we created, and of course, we can always change
ourselves.
Marriage is not that difficult
when we learn to let our spouse just be. We really ought to worry
more about what we are doing that could be detrimental to the marriage
relationship rather than watching the faults of each other.
When couples constantly nag at each other about faults and such they are
not being emotionally encouraging for one another but rather discouraging.
This kind of behavior between couples is why infidelities happen.
Encourage each other! Encourage your husband!
Loving the man you married is about
taking the time to understand his feelings. Letting him talk about how he
feels, even if he is being vague about those feelings. He wants to trust
you and he wants the assurance that he can trust you with his feelings.
Husbands can be vulnerable too, especially if his feelings have been
belittled, scoffed or denounced in the past by his wife. Can he trust her?
Treating your man this way is a sure-fire way to get him to clam up on
you.
If You Are Married To A Good Man
Give Him The Reins
-- (a good man loves his wife and would at least be trying
to be a better husband to his wife. We have to remember that no one is
perfect and never will be, not in this life anyway.
Loving the man you married is giving him
the reins for a while and letting him steer the boat. No real man likes to
be the back seat passenger in his own boat. Let your husband lead the boat
to where he wants to take it. How about not bickering and negating your
man’s feelings. Learn to trust the man you married. Give in for the sake
of “giving in” and for respect and love.
Work together to make the marriage all it can be through the encouragement
of each other.
If you are married to a Good man
you shouldn’t feel intimidated handing over the reins to him. The truth
is there are more than 101 ways to love the man you married and you only
need to practice one way to be a loving wife the rest of the 100 ways. And
that is to respect, in every way, the man you married. See the
companion article to this article. How To Love The Woman You Married
Source Book: LOVE
THE MAN YOU MARRIED
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