Heaven Ministries
September 2010
Volume 10 Issue 73

Marriage Alive! Newsletter   

Marriage Articles

Helping Unfaithful Spouses

I Am Tired of Reading that I am Living in Sin Because I am Remarried

Heaven Ministries You Tube Video's

Marriage Videos

Our Family Life


How a Husband Should Love His Wife a Wife He Husband

God made them male and female for a reason. 1) To give and receive sexual pleasure in marriage. 2) To bear children for the Lord. 3) To compliment one another in marriage. 4) To show the example of Christ and the church—marriage is the living symbol of Christ and the church. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.  He nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.  (Ephesians 5: 28-29) And this is the way marriage should be. 

Read more Here!



Heaven Ministries 
Book Store
Marriage and Health Books


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How Do I Detach From an Alcoholic Spouse?

Are you living with a Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde? Do you awake in your bed and wish you didn't have to start the day with an abusive alcoholic? Are you riding on an addictive roller coaster ride with the alcoholic you married? Do you often feel afraid and depressed because you don't know how the alcoholic is going to behave? Well, it's time to break free! It's time to get off the roller coaster ride and rescue yourself from the behaviors of the alcoholic you live with and love. 

Rescue Yourself From the Traps of Alcoholism

We  hope that you make good use of our healing materials that we have carefully put together by putting the strategies and guidance to work in your personal life and marriage. It is very possible to learn to live with and love the alcoholic in your life, without "it" making YOU go crazy. Don't let addiction steal another minute of your day!


Definition of Marriage
Noah Webster 1828 Dictionary

Marriage: The act of uniting a man and woman for life!

Marriage was instituted by God himself for the purpose of preventing the promiscuous intercourse of the sexes, for promoting domestic felicity, and for securing the maintenance and education of children.





Helping Unfaithful Spouses

Those of you who have been hurt by an unfaithful spouse may wonder why our ministry would offer to help the unfaithful spouse. Well, why wouldn’t we encourage transgressors to Jesus Christ? There is so much sympathy for those who have been cheated on, but what about for the one who actually did the cheating? Shouldn’t we, who are serving the Lord try and help others to find their way to God? Of course we should.

I wasn’t always a Christ One. In fact I know what its like to “live in sin”. I did not grow up knowing anything about God or what Christ could do for me, consequently I did things that were not always appropriate—I lived to please my sinful lifestyle. Today, I still sin, because I’m not perfect, but the difference now is I’m not a “slave to sin” such as committing adultery or other immoral acts and behaviors. I strive to be as Christ-like as possible. Before I became a Christ One my whole attitude was about “how I could please my sinful nature.” 

Married people sin against their marriage, not because they are bad people, necessarily, but because they do not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Christian culture runs rampant with cheating spouses and other sinful behaviors because Christian culture is really not very Christ-like. To be “like Christ” means to practice His teachings in our lives and live a lifestyle that is pleasing to God. Sadly, most Christians are not doing that because they are not taught to regard Christ’s teachings with the authority it deserves.

Please bear with me; I’m talking in generalities here. There are Christians who do walk a life pleasing for God but the majority do not. If we are only playing the part of “church goer” and do not have a personal relationship with God we will sin against our marriage just because the availability is there. Remember the majority lives to please self, not God; therefore they will be available to anyone who is looking to cheat and vice versa.

Going to church can deceive some people because they think that by sitting in a pew for an hour with bible in hand is somehow going to save them. They have been taught that they can just receive forgiveness for adultery whenever they commit it. But this is untrue. Yes, Jesus does offer us His grace and mercy but we first have to be saved (set apart for God’s purpose in His kingdom) and stop being controlled by lust and worldly passions.  (Titus 2:11-12)

Christ told the adulterous woman to “turn from her sin and sin no more”! (John 8:11) He did not say, “ok, I died for you and now you’re under grace so when you commit adultery again you can come to me and I will forgive you again.” If we have been set apart for God’s purpose in His kingdom we would not be unfaithful in our marriages—we would not commit adultery because we have already turned. God sets apart His people as examples.  God wants to use us as His example, but if our life is NOT an example, than He will not purpose us as examples.

So how do we “turn away from the sins that control us” and become Christ-like? We have to believe that what God says for our lives is true—and believe that He will protect us and take care of us. We must put our trust and our faith with Jesus Christ even though we cannot see Him. We have to believe that His Spirit is with us now and will help us to say “NO” with temptations in our lives. (Galatians 5:24)

To become Christ like, we have to not be afraid to take up our own cross and die to our sins—by turning away from this life. We have to let go of our worldly attitude and quit holding onto what the world offers as a safety net, because its not real safety; don’t let yourself be deceived with the majority—what the world offers only “seems” like it is where protection and safety rest, but only God can free us from a life of death.

Start your personal relationship with the Lord today. Make it a habit to ask God for what you need and ask God to help you follow His will rather than your own. Every morning upon rising, pray silently to God and sincerely ask Him to help you to get rid of your worldly desires and passions and to follow His will for your life. Ask Christ to fill you up with His loving, protective Spirit so you will not need to be valued by strangers in the world. Understand that love in the world is deceiving because it’s not real. Love must be sincere. Love must be without dissimulation. (Romans 12:9-10) Society has confused lust to be love but it is what’s killing our souls.

God is love! (1 John 4:16)  If we want to love our spouse, friend, and neighbors in the right ways, we first must become a part of God’s family and accept love for ourselves, through dying to our sins and receiving forgiveness once and for all—turn away from that lifestyle and become new people in Jesus Christ! 

This is precisely where faith comes in. Without faith we will be unable to please God because without faith we will follow our own will instead of Gods. This is what most Christians do now—they don’t realize that their lack of faith is the stumbling block that keeps them from living a life pleasing to God. (Hebrews 11:6)

God is the One who frees us from our worldly desires, and if we put our faith with Him, He will provide a way out. Did you know that when Jesus left this earth in the physical form, to be with His Father He left us His Spirit? The Spirit of Christ resides in every believer today. The Spirit that lives in us helps us to be more Christ-like every day.

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth forever. (1 John 2:15-17)


I Am Tired of Reading How I am Living in Sin Because 
I am Divorced and Remarried

This was feedback from a reader in regards to our Marriage column
dated July 14, 2010 titled" My husband left me am I free to remarry?"

Ask Angie: Dear Whoever, I am tired of reading about how I am living in sin because I am divorced and remarried, and so is my husband. I have been forgiven by Christ, and I live and walk with Him every day. If I'm living in sin, then why did Jesus die for me? He wants me to live an abundant life, my current husband and I are both very spiritual Christians, we are very involved in our church, we tithe, and have been baptized. Yes, it might be better if you reconcile with your first husband or wife, but it is not always possible, and I don't believe it is even God's will sometimes, especially if it keeps you from growing spiritually. I am going to talk to my pastor about this also.  

Our Response: We appreciate your comments and regret that you are finding the "Word of God" offensive. God says remarriage is adultery. Our ministry did not make this command up out of the blue--it is the Word of God. On our “about page” of Heaven Ministries we let people know right away that our ministry is not a “feel good” ministry. Some things we teach may “seem” offensive and perhaps you will get tired, as you say, of hearing it, because it is something you have never been taught.  Fifteen years ago I would feel the same way as you on this issue. 

If you do not believe something that we teach we highly encourage you to do your own research. “seek and you shall find”. We strive to only teach what is biblically correct and from the Word of God. We do not stay silent on any issues because if we did then how would anyone learn what God's purpose is for their marriage and life? 

Because the world is so depraved, God came to earth as a man so we could have an opportunity to "choose" forgiveness for ourselves by turning away from our life of sin, which means discontinuing in slavery to sin.  All throughout the NT Jesus and His disciples/apostles proclaim that if we continue, "being a slave to sin" we will never see the Kingdom of Heaven--we will not see the kingdom of heaven.  The kingdom of heaven is here, do you see it? Do you feel it? Are you living it?

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. (Corinthians 6:9-10)

So the confusion I see here, since the bible is VERY clear about remarriage being adultery,  is in the "not knowing that adultery is a sin"? But doesn't every one know that adultery is a sin? I think so. So then the confusion here is perhaps in knowing when we are offered Christ's mercy and grace and when we are not. This depends on the person. God's grace is free and anyone can accept it if they choose to accept it. The keyword here is "choose". 

Do you know the difference between having a moment of anger or carrying an angry heart? Do you understand the difference between appreciating the beauty of a person or lusting after them? What is the difference between loving our neighbors and envying our neighbors? What is the difference between unforgiveness and forgiveness? The difference between a resentful heart towards your spouse and a hardened heart that leads to divorce. 

I could go on and on with biblical examples, but the difference is in our attitude and how we live our lives and where we put our faith and trust. Divorce is not of God. Reconciliation and restoration is of God. If for some reason we are unable to restore marriage to God, there is biblical commands for that too. 

All Christians sin and it is by Christ's death (grace) that we are forgiven when we sin but not if we are letting sin control us in our heart. We have to turn our attitudes of the heart away from sin. 

Grace has been freely given to those God saves. No one knows who God saves. We cannot earn grace by what we do (tithing, baptism, service) Without God's grace no person can be saved.  All who say they are Christian will not automatically be saved! To receive God's grace we must be willing to die with Jesus Christ because we realize the wretchedness of our lives without God! And still we do not know if we are saved--we should live each day as if it is our last. 

And Jesus said, "Are ye yet without understanding? Do not yet ye understand that whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out into the draught? But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart, and they defile the man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. These are the things which defile a man. (Matthew 15: 16)

Divorce is not a sin, but remarriage is. Why? Because God takes marriage VERY serious. He calls marrying another while your first spouse still lives, adultery.  When people divorce their spouse, do they go to God and get a divorce? Why not go to God when God was witness to your marriage? Why not when God established marriage? No, they go to men and get a divorce, but God says, "let no man put asunder what he has joined together".  But they are putting asunder God's marriage anyway, without any regard for God's plan for marriage. 

And he saith unto them (disciples), "Whosever shall put away his wife, and marry another committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. (Mark 10:11-12)

Whosever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another commiteth adultery, and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband commiteth adultery. (Luke 16:18)

And unto the married, I command, not I but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband. But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:10-11)

If Christ were to forgive "remarriage adultery" through His grace as you have mentioned, then He would have to forgive all adulterer's whether they come to Him in repentance or not. God gives us "free will" we are "free" to follow or not follow His commands and principles for our lives. We are free to disobey if we want. But I fear there will be consequences.  

We cannot just pick and choose which scriptures we will follow and which ones we will not. If God says that remarriage is adultery than it is adultery and we should "live our lives" in accordance to God's commands on this. A true follower of Christ can mean many things but the most important aspect of being a Christ One is not to be controlled by sin or what scripture refers to as “being in bondage to sin” or a “slave to sin”. 

Christ Ones are to be controlled by the Spirit of Christ. Many people want to accept Christ's forgiveness but don't want to accept God commands for their lives. God asks us to take heed to our spirit rather than heed to divorce. How many Christians do that--take heed to their spirit? When we take heed to divorce we are putting our TRUST and FAITH in THAT rather than in the Spirit of God!

...Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of the youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant? And did not he make one? Yet he had the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a Godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against thy wife of his youth. For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment. saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously (divorce). (Malachi 2:14-16)

You said: "My current husband and I are both very spiritual Christians, we are very involved in our church, we tithe, and have been baptized.


Response: Being involved in your church, tithing money, and being baptized are not requirements of being a Christ One, nor does any of these things mean you are saved. If giving money, being baptized and being involved in church activities were a way to be saved we’d all be saved! Everyone does these things.  But how can this be, when Jesus says "narrow is the gate that leads to eternal life" The gate to heaven is NOT open for those who choose to not enter it through their own reasons.

"Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat. Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it."  (Matthew 7:13,14)


You said:  "Yes, it might be better if you reconcile with your first husband or wife, but it is not always possible, and I don't believe it is even God's will sometimes, especially if it keeps you from growing spiritually."


Response: You are absolutely correct. God does want us to reconcile with our first husband or wife, but as you said, sometimes it is not possible, especially if living with an unbeliever keeps us from God and His Truths for our lives. But this does not mean we are free to remarry. Let not the wife depart from her husband. But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: 
(1 Corinthians 7:10)


Understand that the transgression is not that we get a state divorce, but that we remarry while our first spouse is still alive. If a husband or wife divorces you, what can you do but "let the unbelieving spouse go", you are not in bondage to them any longer". You can't make someone stay married to you. But you can control what you do after your spouse divorces you. (1 Corinthians 7:15)


Did Jesus say it was ok to remarry? Is there anywhere in the bible where Christ talks about remarriage? No, there is not and the reason is because YOU ARE STILL MARRIED TO YOUR FIRST HUSBAND OR WIFE. "Let man not put asunder what God joined together." According to God man cannot put asunder what He has joined together. The marriage agreement between you, your first spouse and God is the only contract that is indissoluble.


Let not the wife depart from her husband: But if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:10,11)


Quoted: "I am going to talk to my pastor about this also."


Response: ok. Print this out or email him. 

“Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I come not to destroy but to fulfill. For verily I say into you, ‘Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the Kingdom of Heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the Kingdom of Heaven.” (Matthew 5:17-19) 


Many Christian churches teach that Christians can deliberately sin or be controlled by sin and then be forgiven. This is not true! It would be silly to think we can continue sinning and receive forgiveness (Christ's blessing). God came to earth as a man so we may have eternal life with him one day in the spirit, but there is one condition. We have to obey Him, follow Him, and serve Him by leading a Holy and Pleasing life for Him. This is done ONLY by faith in Him! We are saved because of our faith in who Jesus Christ is and in believing in what He can do for us!!


“Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in the glory of God.” (Romans 5:1-2)

The above verse says we have access "by Faith" into Christ' grace...


I have access "by car" to get to the other side of the bridge. But if my car breaks down before I cross the bridge, obviously access will be denied. 


The way into the Kingdom of Heaven is ONLY by faith not by works. 


Please do not be offended by this newsletter...We say these things only out of love for our brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ.  We are not judging or condemning but simply teaching what the bible says. 


In Christ

Frank and Angie

Heaven Ministries ~ Marriage Healing Ministry







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