Heaven Ministries
September 2009
Volume 8 Issue 65

Marriage Alive! Newsletter   

Marriage Articles

7 Ways To Love The Person You Married

How Health Affects Our Marriage

Other Articles

Courtship Tips For Young Women

Answering the skeptics About God's Existence: Is Jesus God?

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7 Ways to Love the Person You Married

The one and only true foundation for truly loving others comes from God. Therefore in order to actually love someone, you first need to love God with all of your heart, mind and soul. In return, God gives us the gifts of insight and wisdom so we can love others wholly. Be all of the person God wants you to be and watch your marriage grow in abundance and happiness. 

1. Be Cooperative

Cooperation involves working together as a team. Marriage is a team and sometimes that means applying teamwork in the marriage. Cooperation is one of the basic rules of any relationship no matter what it is. Cooperation can involve being supportive about a certain issue or it can actually mean working together on a project. There is no better time to start learning the aspects of cooperation then before you get married.

2. Be Appreciative

Always remember to be appreciative of the person you married, even if you donít feel like it. We all have bad days and on those days we donít feel like being very kind, but remember what foundation you are working off of here. Youíre not part of the uncaring world, but part of Godís loving and compassionate world. Just because youíre in the world does not mean you have to be a part of it.

3. Be Committed

People have this preconceived idea that it is impossible to truly love someone. You donít have to be a heavenly angel to love others completely. But you do have to be committed to your relationship. Commitment is love. Letís suppose you are not committed to the person you married, what do you think is going to happen? Well, I know for a fact you will not go out of your way to love your spouse. Commitment makes us loyal and trustworthy people. Commitment reminds us that marriage is a union of two people devoted to one another through God.

4. Be Respectful

Couples tend to take each other for granted and overtime it causes them to look at each other differently and treat them with disrespect. If you have made it a habit to treat your loved one in the wrong way, maybe you just need to look at yourself and see what is making you feel negative towards the person you married. Many times it is just a simple attitude adjustment that needs primed a bit. Be respectful and it will come back to you.

5. Be A Good Communicator

Anyone can be a good communicator when they take the time to listen. Being a good communicator takes compassion and understanding.  Let the other person get their feelings out and then let them know you understand how they feel, even if you donít agree. You certainly do not have to agree to be able to understand a personís feelings. When it is your turn to talk, do it in a way that does not sound accusatory or blaming. You can be a good communicator by having the patience, acceptance and understanding for the person you are communicating with.

6. Be Accepting

Letís look at our self and our own motives before we pass unwarranted judgment onto those we love. The traits that annoy us in others are usually what we donít like about ourselves.  Judge yourself first, and then forgive and help your spouse to forgive you.

7. Be Submissive

What is submission? Submission is all of the above virtues rolled into one. It is ďgiving inĒ even when you donít want to. It is accepting, respecting, cooperating, and appreciating the person you married.  Submission summed up in one word is LOVE.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. (1 John 4:7)


How Health Affects Our Marriage

Did you know that the better you feel about your life, the better spouse you will be. The best way to be a good spouse is to take care of YOU first. You are your best friend when it comes to your health and emotional well-being--physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Are you taking care of you? Last week I talked to several different women who were experiencing health difficulties like bipolar syndrome, addiction, diabetes, and heart problems.

These were young women only in their thirties, forties and fifties! They went on to tell me that these health issues are affecting their marriage in a negative way. This is very sad because having poor health or even becoming sick with something can not only put a big strain on the person who is sick but on the loved one and caregiver as well. 

It doesnít really matter what the health condition is. It can be irritable bowel syndrome or it can be co-dependence issues. If you are not healthy physically, spiritually, or emotionally it will take a toll on your marriage.

How can we be good to others when we canít even be good to ourselves? We have to take care of our health so we can be positive, joyful, and productive people for our spouse and everyone else that we have a relationship with. No one likes to be around someone who is physically, mentally or emotionally unwell. And no one is surely going to take the steps to make you well but you! Health and well being is our responsibility!

So what can you do? You can do the research about a particular illness you may have been diagnosed with; you can look for alternative therapies to your health; you can talk with a nutritionist about your health instead of a medical doctor; you can cleanse your entire system of toxins; you can find a good trustworthy friend that you can confide in about your mental health; and you can ask God into your life and allow Him to give you hope, wisdom, and knowledge.

Did you know that 60% of people who are diagnosed with bipolar syndrome really donít have bipolar syndrome? Now thatís scary. Whatís even scarier is that attention deficient disorders, bipolar, and hypoglycemia mimic many of the same symptoms. If I were diagnosed with any health condition I would take a careful look into what I am eating and drinking on a daily basis.

1. How often do you do physical activity? Never, sometimes, or often

If you said often, then that is great! Now just start eating a more natural diet. That means, if it is not a natural, whole food then simply donít eat it. Start cooking more if you donít already, and limit your red meat intake to about two times a week. The body does not need meat on a regular basis. As a matter of fact, protein is one of the easiest vitamins to get because it is in so many of our foods. Try legumes, nuts and seeds for part of your protein needs.

2. How often do you eat packaged processed food items? Rarely, sometimes, or often

If you said rarely, then thatís great too. But if you said often, then I have to ask, why? There are limited nutrients in processed packaged foods. Refined flour is whatís making people sick with sugar spikes, (diabetes), gluten intolerance, allergies, and IBS symptoms. You would be so much healthier just by making or buying whole wheat bread and never eating another processed package food product ever again.

3. How often do you eat live, raw food, such as fruits, fruit juicing, sprouts, dark greens, or cruciferous vegetables such as broccoli, cabbage or kale? Rarely, sometimes, or often?

If you said often, then congratulations. You are doing your body and mind good. But if you said rarely than it might be a good idea to start incorporating more of these excellent nutritious filled foods into your diet on a daily basis. If you cook your vegetables, always be sure to only lightly steam. Cooked vegetables do not retain the vitamins and minerals that your body needs.

5. Would you say that you are a generally happy person? Yes, maybe, or no

I hope you said yes! But if you said no, then it is time to do something about that.  When we donít feel good about ourselves, or our life it is usually because we feel as if our life is in a standstill and without purpose or reason. Or maybe we feel useless or unhappy in our marriage. But let me tell you this. 

Everyone has a purpose in this life, to do and be the best they can be, through Christ. We shouldn't try to be the best we can through ourselves, but what Christ blesses us with. God gives us wisdom, knowledge and love and our relationship with Him is what makes us happy. When you are happy that happiness will reflect back onto others in positive and productive ways.

Jesus said, ďUntil now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.Ē (John 16:24)

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Courtship Tips For Women

Courtshipping is different then dating. Courting is more like being friends without the emotional or sexual involvement. If this sounds like something you would be interested in then read on for some great courtship tips. ďTo courtĒ actually prepares people for a healthy relationship/marriage, while dating subconsciously prepares people for a relationship/marriage without respect and commitment.  Why is that? Letís find out.

Get To Know Him Based On Respect

The word ďcourtingĒ can be labeled as dating by society, but we cannot compare apples with oranges Ė they are two different things. Sex is almost always a given in a dating relationship. In a dating relationship you may not really know the man you are with. He may seem evasive and not like to talk about himself.  That is a red flag of dating. You may never meet his parents before the relationship crumbles? He may not care to meet your parents. All you know about him is what he has told you. He probably has dated and had sex with several other women before you.  Who knows if he has a venereal disease, AIDS, HIV - who knows.

Courtshipping is getting to know each other through respect of each other. Sex is never an issue and should never be. It is regarding yourself with respect and regarding him with respect. The minute you become trapped in the sexual schemes of dating you have lost the battle with self-respect and you will get hurt. This is what dating is. Love them and dump them syndrome. But usually with dating there is really no love involved. 

Who is this guy who suddenly shows up in your life? Is he considerate of your feelings or does he seem selfish and egotistical - only out for one thing? A man who genuinely likes you will behave respectful. He will respect you for who you are, not for what you can do for him or what he can receive from you.

Let Him Get To Know You Based On Respect

Be honest about who you are, right from the start. Donít beat around the bush, letting him think you will have sex with him. Let him know right off the bat that no sex is one of your boundaries and you will not give in. If he walks away, great. If he decides to stay for the ride, thatís great too, but certainly doesnít mean he is a good guy. Tread lightly by only being friends.

Itís ok to talk about yourself and your likes and dislikes. Talk about what you feel comfortable about divulging, but do not play on his ego and give him any private information that will involve the two of you emotionally. Donít let him be the savior / hero who comes into to rescue you from something going on in your life. Donít get personal with him about your problems or familyÖuntil you can see that he can be trusted. Some things are left unsaid until the relationship evolves from just friends to trusted friends.

Donít Give In Sexually

If a man really, really cares for you and is serious about you as a possible marriage prospect he will respect your boundaries and not ask you for sex. So donít ever put yourself in a situation where either one of you will become tempted and give in Ė because that could ruin the relationship. This means that you should probably never go out alone together but always bring a sister, brother, mother, or another friend or couple to come a long with you. This is preferable and practical in a courting relationship.

Temptation can be hard to overcome, especially if we tell ourselves there is really nothing wrong with having sex with someone we have known for months. If you break the courtship rules and have sex it will change the relationship immensely. It will change your attitude towards one another Ė it will begin to cause numerous problems within the purity of the relationship that could harm it considerably. Jealousy, suspicion, control, resentment, and all kinds of negative emotions begin to play out because now you are just dating. Thatís what dating is.

Donít Get Emotionally Involved

The minute you allow your emotions to rule a relationship youíre now dating. Dating is a negative sexual agenda that almost always ends negatively, even if you happen to get married. Couples who have dated many partners before marriage arenít prepared for marriage because they really do not understand the difference between dating and marriage. Courtshipping is about respect and commitment, and getting to know someone better for the prospect of a possible marriage partner. It is not to see what you can get from a relationship, but rather what the relationship can become. 


Answering The Skeptics About Godís Existence: 
Is Jesus God?

As a believer have you ever been confronted with someone who is skeptical that Jesus Christ exists or that He is the Savior of the world? How about those logical, intellectual folks that like to downplay creation for evolution? Have you ever heard the one about how people evolved from oysters?

I donít know about you, but I have a bit more faith than that. Do you realize how long it would take for a human to evolve from an oyster? More than the billions of years that they like to say the earth is old. Scientific evidence has yet to prove God does NOT exist. So the evolutionists and the creationists are in the same boat Ė still waiting for proof to disbelieve the other.

God knew there would be skeptics, therefore, He purposely planned it that there never be found too much factual proof that He exists and created the world, He wants people to believe in Him with faith, not scientific evidence. I think the skeptics will be waiting a long time.

In the mean time, I believe it is the Christians responsibility to defend the gospel when confronted by those who oppose it, because frankly, if Godís people donít become Godís mouthpiece than who will?

Of course, it is not our job to actually ďsaveĒ people or make them believe in God but we can show them the path (the way) that leads to God and if they want to tread on it, thatís up to them.

"But sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence" (1 Pet. 3:15, NASB). 

The skepticís like to say that Jesus is not God. Jesus is with all believers today through the Holy Spirit. We can talk to Him and we can find His words in the pages of the most popular bought book known to us today, the bible. The birth of Jesus Christ was fulfilled as prophesied by Isaiah.

Atheists and doubters alike should study biblical history and research the many fulfilled prophecies that have become a reality in the hearts and minds of believers today.

Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign; Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel. (Emmanuel, interpreted means ďGod with usĒ) (Isaiah 7:14)

For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given; and the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:6)

What an awesome testimony - evidence that Jesus is God! Wonderful Creator and Counselor. The truth that Jesus is Godís divine Son is the foundation for all we read about in the gospels. God is the father Ė God is the Son Ė God is the Holy Spirit.

ďAll authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy SpiritĒ. (Matthew 28:18,19)

Cause and Effect is the Proof

Physical and material proof that God exists and that Christ Jesus is God is in cause and effect. God caused Himself to be transformed into the Man Jesus. And when believers apply Christís principles and teachings in their daily life the result or the effect it produces is the proof! Christís Principles really work! What better proof is there than that?!!

Some people need to doubt before they can believe. That is why some people doubt because deep down they want to believe, for if they didnít doubt, they wouldnít refute the gospel. Most doubters of biblical truths say they would believe if they witnessed a miracle happen before their very eyes. But Jesus tells us we are blessed if we can believe in Him through faith without actually seeing Him.

Then Jesus told them, ďBecause you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believedĒ. (John 20:29)

There will always be those who are skeptical about the Bible being the Word of God. But the disciples were eyewitnesses of Jesusí life and teachings, and the Holy Spirit helped them remember those teachings so they could write down their accounts in what is known as the bible today.

Weíre fortunate to have the written accounts of Jesusí ministry, so we too may plant the truth in our mind, be convinced of Godís will for our lives, and remind us when we stray from that truth.

ďI am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through meĒ. (John 14:6)



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