Heaven Ministries
Feb/March 2010
Volume 10 Issue 68

Marriage Alive! Newsletter   

What's New With Heaven Ministries?

New Website, New Forum and new ebook about Scriptural Romance and Godly Courtship

Marriage Articles

Save Your Marriage by Starting With a Clean Slate

Marriage Preparation Articles

How the Christian Should Find a Suitable Marriage Spouse?

Ask Angie
Wife Having a Hard Time Submitting to Husband


Heaven Ministries 
Book Store
Marriage and Health Books


Journey on the Roads Less Traveled
Take a spiritual journey with Angie

This book is Angie's personal testimony.

"Because of its thoroughness, this book (Journey on the Roads Less Traveled) would make an excellent preparation for marriage, in conjunction with a specific church program, or in and of itself as a private preparation."
Buy Journey





What's New with Heaven Ministries?

We are delighted and blessed to be able to provide our readers and their families with another ministry: Heaven Ministries ~ Scriptural Romance in Preparation to Marriage. The web address is: http://www.heavenministries.org  

Bookmark and Favorite for new article, books and updates.

Frank and I have also written a new Ebook about how single Christians can prepare for a rock solid marriage through scriptural romance and Godly courtship. You can order our new ebook from the home page.

We also have a New Forum on Godly Courtship and Preparation to Marriage. This forum is for Christian parents and their children. If you are a single Christian person, never been married, whatever your age, this forum is for you. We encourage you to come check it out and post your comments, questions, and Godly wisdom and encouragement. Our entire family will be a part of this new forum and we hope to see your family there too. Blessings, Frank, Angie, Brandon, Angelo, and Alex

Save Your Marriage By Starting With a Clean Slate

If you really want to save your marriage, you must start with a clean slate. That means to get rid of the worldly attitudes and practices that have polluted your marriage and follow God’s plan for your marriage instead. We’re so used to treating our marriage like everyone else does, or the way we were taught, or from what we think is the right way to handle it, but look where all that has gotten many of our marriages of today.

We have to change our attitude. Why is it so difficult for people to recognize the need for God’s design in their marriage? I think it is because of lack of faith. If we had more faith in the power of Christ working in our lives we would be applying Christ’s principles into our marriage. We have to change the way our heart thinks. We do this by asking God into our lives and letting His ways be our guide.

Reality dictates that a person can never truly change themselves for their spouse and so going to marriage gurus for advice usually doesn’t work. They tell us what we need to do to change something about ourselves for our spouse. But it won’t work! We have to go to God! For example: If a spouse is acting immorally do you think they can change themselves to not behave in that way just because their spouse has asked them to? I don’t think it will work in the long run. If it doesn’t come from the heart of the doer than how can they change?

But when we know and study God’s Word and change our patterns and attitudes for him, it works! It’s not that we don’t want to be good spouses—its just that because as imperfect as we are, we still need God in our lives to help us lead a Godly life. He is our Source for everything! Christian living is not about going to church once a week it is a lifestyle, and we have to change our ungodly ways because we love God with all of our heart, mind, and soul.

God gives us the power through the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ to lead our lives with wisdom and righteousness. But if we are too proud to go to God with our attitudes and ungodly ways, we’ll never have a clean slate. We’ll never learn how to perceive how marriage is supposed to be based on the One who created it, because we’re so busy creating our marriage the way we think it ought to be!! In other words, we’re managing our marriage, which was created and established by God without God! Can that be possible?

Marriage absolutely needs a firm foundation for support bit if the foundation is rocky with rocky patterns, views, and attitudes it will eventually come tumbling down. For instance if a wife or a husband make their career more important than each other, the marriage will obviously be supported on the “Me, Me, Me attitude”. They don’t realize that making a career more important—working longer hours for more money is not the way to having a happy marriage. It is the opposite way to be happy in marriage.

We have to keep our focus on Jesus and then make changes in ourselves and for the marriage—otherwise it won’t work and your marriage will end up with the rest of the divorce statistics. You can start with a clean slate by giving up old behaviors and patterns. Give your old attitude to God. Let Him bury it for you. Then ask Jesus Christ into your marriage and make Him and His principles the most important part of your life.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10


How a Christian Should Find a Suitable Marriage Spouse

For the Christian to have a great marriage means to have a great relationship with Jesus Christ. You must be willing to serve and care for your spouse even more than you care for yourself. This attitude of service in both the husband and the wife will allow for the marriage to prosper and flourish with blessings.

God did not sanctify (set apart) marriage for spouses to be selfish with one another. Good grief, no! Marriage was created and instituted for God’s purpose—your marriage belongs to God. Marriage is a living symbol of the relationship between Christ and the church.

As a Christian if you believe that you are ready to care for and commit your life to another in the “ways of the Lord” then the next step is to find friendships in the Lord and wait on God. Be still with your emotions. Don’t let your emotions rule the relationship. That means you have to get dating and the attitudes that are associated with dating completely out of your mind. Dating is not for the sincere Christian to partake in.

Find Friends With Common Interests and Beliefs

God will make aware to you, if you are “still” with your emotions, a suitable man or woman in the Lord. Christian single people should not have intimate attachments with others (date), but rather they should search for like-minded friendships in the Lord through common interests and beliefs. 

These common interests might be a church activity, sporting event, school function, project or hobbyists event, or a community play, etc; At this event you can meet other Christian people that share in the same interest as you. Then you can become friends with them because of that common interest, not because of anything else, such as receiving something from them.

This friendship should not progress to anything further than getting to know each other based on respect. In other words, your feelings for this person do not lead and control your actions but rather follow your actions, where they are kept in check. 

Be Discerning With Your Friendships

You should be very discerning with any friendships you would like to pursue further and possibly for a marriage candidate. Carefully examining a persons character is something a smart Christian will do before allowing the progression of any relationship to be more than just casual friends.

The main goal in any new friendship is not to allow your feelings to control the relationship. Keep God always your main focus as the relationship develops.  If you feel that you are unable to keep your emotions in check for this person then you must pray about it and ask God to give you the direction you need.

Be Still With Your Emotions

Be still with your emotions and wait on God. God will certainly let you know if this person is the one to make a lifelong commitment with. The only time you should allow your emotions to take over and give your heart to another is “after” you have made the commitment to marry and are betrothed (engaged).

God wants young people to remain emotionally pure before marriage just as He wishes them to remain sexually pure. Mary and Joseph were betrothed for a couple of years before they actually got married but they both knew that soon they would be married and because of that they most likely gave each their hearts.

Sexual intimacy should be reserved for the big wedding day. This is God’s will for the Christian. I don’t think you will ever regret saving yourself for the man or woman you will spend a lifetime caring for and loving. 

Check out our new forum on Scriptural Romance and Godly Courtship. We would love to have you on board. We have also written a new Ebook on God’s will for Christian Romance How to Prepare for a Rock Solid Marriage.


Take care and God Bless!

Angie and Frank




Difficult Time Submitting, Sometimes

I have a very hard time submitting to my husband at times. We have been married for 6 years with 3 children. He has only held a job down for 1 1/2  years all together. The other 4 1/2 years it has been my role to work full time, continue my education, take our 2 disabled children to the doctors, cook, clean, do laundry and take care of the house. He says I have no right to question him and his decisions; if I do he goes crazy screaming and yelling at me. He does nothing to help me around the house except maybe put gas in our vehicle and clean the garage. How do I not have a right to make decisions when all I do to contribute to this family? my husband recently has been put on SSI for a back injury, Bipolar disorder, ADHD, OCD, Personality disorder, PTSD, and anxiety. Now with all this said doesn't it seem very one sided or maybe I'm just being too hard on him. Also he refuses to attend any more treatment-he thinks nothing is wrong with him. So what I'm trying to say is I do about 95% of everything needed for the family and I'm just to sit back and let him make all the decisions? Oh, just recently he decided we aren't to celebrate Christmas anymore because it's pagan-he has taught our children to chant Christmas is pagan and Jesus doesn't like it. They're only 5, 6, and 7 and have no clue what they're saying. Please help me understand what I'm to do.

Marriage Guidance: You have a difficult time submitting because your husband is not applying his headship position properly. You both have God-given roles in the marriage that need to become a part of your existence in the marriage for headship and submission to work. 

No woman wants to be made to submit just because her husband controls her to do so, that is wrong Christian behavior. A husband needs to love his wife in the ways of the Lord. How Christ has loved us is the example husbands should be following. No woman will have a difficult time submitting to a man who is caring for her properly. I have written about this on our new ministry website in preparation to marriage. Here is the link: http://www.heavenministries.org/PremarriageStudy.htm

Christian couples who are sincerely trying to save their marriage and who want to do God's will, must come together in the Lord and start all over anew. Forget about everything you learned from your parents, pastors, friends, family and acquaintances and go back to the basics of what scripture (God's Word) says. The bible is the Christians instruction book for daily living. 

God's design for marriage is built upon a foundation of love and all of this other stuff that is going on in marriage is based upon what people have learned and have been conditioned into believing. It's wrong folks, I'm sorry to say, but when husband and wife roles get mixed up and we base our behaviors on self-seeking desires, marriage can't stand up!

God, being the creator of marriage would seem to know what works best for couples and therefore He has left us His principles for applying into our marriage. Here is a couple of great articles the ministry has written to help you get started on your new marriage. Don't be like everyone else, save your marriage by going to the root of the problem and regrowing new roots. 


Husband's Duties

- Duty to God first and foremost

- Accountability to God

- Second duty to wife

- Responsibility to wife

- Third to children (if applicable)

- Love, cherish and protect wife

- Primary provider for wife and family

- Accountability to wife and family

- Primary spiritual decision maker

- Primary decision maker on large issues that involve the rest of the family

- Responsibility to love your fellow man


WIFE'S Duties

- Duty to God first and foremost
- Accountability to God

- Second duty to Husband

- Responsibility to Husband

- Honor, love, respect, submit to husband

- Responsibility to nurture and care for home and children

- Responsibility to love your fellow man


God Bless!

In Christ,

Angie and Frank

Heaven Ministries ~ Marriage Healing Ministry



Heaven Ministries ~ Scriptural Romance in Preparation to Marriage



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