Marriage Alive Newsletter
Stop Analyzing Your Marriage and Start Communicating
Why do you think we spend so much time trying to scrutinize our spouse and wonder about "why" all the time? Maybe you don't wonder "why" like I do. I'm always wondering "why" my husband does things the way he does or "why” he says things the way he does. It's crazy, I know.
Sometimes I ask myself "why" I spend so much time trying to figure out "why" people do or say the things the way they do, rather than just communicate and ask questions. You see, right now, I'm wondering "why" I do that
I have been told why I wonder about "why" so much. I have been told that I am a "why" person. Did you know there is "who" "why" and "how" people in the world? I’m a why person. I simply want to know "why" something turns out the way it does, rather than just accept it for the way it is.
Some people want to know "how" it turns out the way it does,
and I suspect those people are considered the really curious fellows. I
don't care about “how” something is done; I want to know
"why" something is done. ;-)
Some people want to know "how" it turns out the way it does, and I suspect those people are considered the really curious fellows. I don't care about “how” something is done; I want to know "why" something is done. ;-)
This is what an analyzer does, I think. They seem to
believe they can dissect their spouse and understand the
"why's" to why they do or say the things they do. I
would think that it would be best to communicate and ask questions
through proper expression rather than only asking "why" all
night long. That would annoy me too.
This is what an analyzer does, I think. They seem to believe they can dissect their spouse and understand the "why's" to why they do or say the things they do. I would think that it would be best to communicate and ask questions through proper expression rather than only asking "why" all night long. That would annoy me too.
The problem is, I ask "why” too much. And my husband gets annoyed and says, “Would you stop asking me "why" all the time, I feel like you are interrogating me” Now, I get doubly curious because he never wants to tell me "why", so I figured out a new strategy. I started asking him questions that would invariably lead up to answer my question of "why".
In other words, I communicate with him rather than always pick and peck his brain for a “why”. I think that is "why" he got tired of telling me "why" because he felt like I was quizzing him too much. And when I started communicating, he loosened up a bit and I found out "why"! It's great now!
Instead of asking him "why" are you late for dinner, I say, how was your day today? He tells me about his day in a general fashion, but that still doesn't satisfy my curiosity of "why" he is late. So I beat around the bush a bit and ask him if he is tired, hoping that will get him to tell me "why" he is late. I butter him up a bit and say, "honey you seem a bit stressed around the neck, and can I rub your shoulders for you?" And he says, "Oh, yes, please." I start rubbing his shoulders and I say to him, "Honey, you must have had a really stressful day today, your shoulders are really tense and tight." And he says, "I did have a rough day today, the client gave me more paperwork to do today, and I was on a deadline to get it finished by tomorrow, so I worked late and got it all done. What's for dinner?"
Moral of this story: If your spouse doesn't like answering all of your "whys" and he or she feels like they are being cross-examined by you, try a different approach through communication and asking questions. Get involved with your spouse. It truly works wonders!
was originally manufactured to fatten turkeys. When it killed the
turkeys, the people who had put all the money into the research wanted a
payback so they put their heads together to figure out what to do with
this product to get their money back. It was a white substance with no
food appeal so they added the yellow coloring and sold it to people to
use in place of butter. How do you like it? They have come out with some
clever new flavorings.
A MAJESTIC RETURN
the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept. And
at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh, go ye
out to meet him.”
25: 5, 6
is going to return in majesty one day to claim His bride. How
terrible it will be if we have wasted our lives by not serving the
Master. We don’t know when He is coming back, but
He is coming back and it doesn’t matter if we believe it or not.
I am looking forward with great joy to that victorious day.
need to wake up and realize that there is not going to be any time to
get ready. We will have no advance warning like we do
with hurricanes. We won’t have time to make
preparations. He is going to come “in the twinkling
of an eye”. For those who have not made a heart
commitment to Jesus and accepted Him as their personal Saviour, they
will not have another opportunity.
need to be working daily, even hourly, to win the lost to Jesus and we
can’t do it by watching television most of the day. We
need to be active in calling people on the phone, sending emails,
writing to them by regular mail, and by hugging them to Jesus.
We need to love them to Jesus.
you ready to meet Jesus? You may have made a heart
commitment to Him and accepted Him as your personal Saviour but your
heart is not right with Him. If He were to return
right now, would you be filled with joy, or would you be filled with
sadness because you are not ready to meet Him? I urge
you to be sure that your heart is always in right standing with Him.
Every time I think that I have done something to offend Him, I
immediately go to Him and ask forgiveness. Go to Him
June 19, 2006
I hope you enjoyed this issue of the Heaven Ministries Newsletter.
Copyright © Heaven Ministries ~ Angie Lewis