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Marriage
Takes a Giving and Forgiving Attitude I believe the whole idea of marriage is getting a
bad rap these days, and it is because some people are just a bit too
selfish for marriage. What do you think? You can’t be selfish in the
marriage and then expect it to prosper, can you? Happiness is not found
through the person you married? Not to say you can’t be happy with the
person you married, but as we all know, happiness comes from within. But what happens when we don’t have anything
“within us” to be happy about? Well, then you stop and look at your
attitude. What are you bitter about? Why do you feel the need to control
people and situations around you? Many things you are powerless too, and
so you need to understand what those things are and let them go. For
instance, you cannot control another human being without them feeling
resentful. You cannot stop an alcoholic from drinking anymore than you
can expect your spouse to change to be what you want them to be. This is
how a selfish person thinks. It is selfish to try and “make” someone do something just
so you can “feel” better. This is not a giving or forgiving attitude
but an attitude of bitterness and contempt. How can married people concentrate on the blessings
they have and heal their marriage? How can a married selfish person
discover the goodness in their spouse? By focusing on what brings true
contentment and happiness in life. Stop and look at your attitude. What
is your attitude telling you? Unfortunately, so many married people rely
on the sins of the world for pleasure and happiness only to bring
garbage and negativity back into the marriage.
Why focus on what’s out there when you can focus on what is in
front of you and make it better? Jesus said, “What good is it for a man to gain
the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man exchange for
his soul? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and
sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes
in his Father’s glory with the holy angels.” (Mark 8:36-38) Why do you say, “I have a bad marriage?” Maybe
what you should be saying is, “I am a bad marriage partner?” The
reality is folks, marriage takes a giving and forgiving attitude, and
without that, what is left? You tell me what happens when you don’t
forgive your spouse? Tell me how you feel when you hold in resentment
about something your spouse did? What does it feel like to only see the
negative stuff about your spouse? It feels like a bad marriage,
doesn’t it? But who is doing this to you? Who is giving you that kind
of attitude? You are doing it to yourself, and that is the real facts
here. How come do I know this? Because I carried around that attitude
myself! None of us are immune to behaving selfish but when a spouse refuses to forgive, or refuses to trust again, or to be accepting, or to come out of their resentment, I believe there is a real lack of wisdom in that person’s life. Wisdom comes from God, but if we do not really know God or accept God into our lives we will not have godly wisdom within us. We will have an attitude filled with our own understanding. And what is that? If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who
gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to
him. (James 1:5) So then what is the struggle in marriage? Is the
struggle saying “no” to worldly pleasures and desires? Is the
struggle not realizing the perfect blessings we have been given already
from God? Could it be the struggle is that we have not asked For God’s
loving guidance into our lives? Are we too proud to come to Christ and
accept His love for us? If anyone thinks he is something when he is
nothing, he deceives himself. (Galatians 6:3) Double check your attitude and see if it only needs
adjusted a little bit. When we get too cold or too hot we adjust the
thermostat in our homes, when we get too hot or too cold in our marriage
we only need to adjust our attitude. Forgive others, be repentant, be
forgiven, and love. …Forgive and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use it, it will be measured to you. (Luke 6:37, 38
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