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King
of the Castle The
wife who hands over the rein of king to her husband will have a happy
and content man. Why resist what God intended for marriage to be? It is
instinctive for a man to want to protect, defend, and provide for his
wife. When a wife struggles with her husband’s headship position she
is allowing herself to feel controlled by him, rather than being the
wife God intends her to be. The
question is, is your husband really controlling you and misusing his
position or do you only make yourself feel controlled? In
many homes today the husband is not allowed to be the man of the house.
His wife has taken the lead in every aspect of the marriage, leaving him
to load the dishwasher and take out the garbage. Ask your husband if he
is truly happy having you dictate to him how to budget the finances, how
to discipline kids, and how to talk to his boss at work, and what kind
of car to drive. Would you be happy if your husband came home from work
and told you how to cook, clean, wear your hair, and take care of the
baby? Wouldn’t you feel
discouraged and demeaned as a wife and woman? The
main reason a husband would not take his God given position seriously is
because his wife is already doing it for him. This is VERY harmful to
the marriage in many ways, especially if the husband holds in his
emotions and feels he cannot talk to or trust his wife. He may honestly
be afraid to talk with his wife, because she is too overbearing with
him. She may belittle the way he feels.
This makes him become embittered and resentful because of mixed
up roles and positions in the home. It is disrespectful to takeover a
man’s place in marriage? How
would a woman feel if after giving birth to her baby, her husband took
over all motherly responsibilities and tasks and dictated how she were
going to take care of the baby? She
would feel restricted and VERY cheated out of motherhood, wouldn’t
she? Well, it’s the same way for husbands. When a wife acts like she
is the king of the house, or when she takes away her husband’s
god-given roles and dictates how things are going to be, how do you
think he is going to feel? Cheated and demoralized. A
Christian wife should never suppress the God-given position of her
husband. She should never do anything that would stifle the ambitions
and abilities of the man she married, rather she should encourage her
husband to be all that he can be on the foundations of Jesus Christ. In
the same way, a husband should never abuse or control his wife in any
way shape or form. A Christian man should never misuse his role as head
of the family. This is not how God intends for a man to love his wife.
When a woman is abused and controlled by her man she becomes resentful
and feels unloved and demeaned by her husband. I
encourage all married couples to work towards understanding their
spouse’s position in the marriage and work towards honoring each
other. When we stop focusing on what each should be doing, but rather
focus on what we should be doing, marriage just sort of falls into place
like it should. A
husband should have the free rein to be the king of his castle, but he
should also be a good king and never misuse his position. If you treat your man like a king, he will love his queen.
But if you suppress his rein and take over his position, he certainly
won’t take his kingship in the home very seriously.
He may become grouchy, angry, and resentful that he has been
demoted to taking out the garbage and loading the dishwasher. |