Having the Right Attitude for Marriage
Copyright © 2006 Heaven Ministries

Did you know that your attitude could make or break your marriage? It’s true! Your attitude tells you what to do in certain situations and how to behave with certain issues in your marriage. Are you carrying around the right attitude for your marriage? This article will explore the top five reasons why you might be carrying around the “not so right attitude”. 

1. Do you have a positive attitude about God? Attitudes reflect what you feel about God. Meaning your whole outlook on life can be transformed into a positive experience if you have a deep and meaningful relationship with your Creator. You do this by getting to know Him and by “wanting” to understand God’s wisdom filled ways more than your own ways. 

You ought to be loving God with all of your heart, mind and soul and God will give you the faith and confidence you need to be loving and compassionate to your spouse, friends, family, and associates. 

That’s all about it! A simple exchange takes place between you and God. When you trust in Him, He’ll then give you the wisdom you need for your life and marriage. 

2. Do you let others dictate what your attitude will be? Many of us do. We listen to the negative attitudes of others and it rubs off on us. This is what happens in marriage when couples become entangled in a heated argument. 

These kinds of arguments usually don’t get anywhere because they are being played off with bad attitudes. Your spouse says something negative about you and you in turn look for something bad to say about them. What needs to be done is to start thinking positive about God in your life and marriage, and your negative attitude will vanish from your mind! 

3. Is your attitude in marriage consistent with your actions? In other words, your mind and heart must know, see, and feel the same way, not in contradiction to each other or you will come off as a hypocrite. 

If you try and be something that you are not, it will eventually come out in your actions. Your heart has to feel what you say, and you mind must know what it is your heart wants. Otherwise, you might speak things that are not true to your spouse and come off as hypocritical with them. 

This happens because you are getting the wrong messages sent to you by the culture of society. The culture of today believes it is ok to lie to your spouse and to commit adultery, but what does your heart say? We need to put 100% attitude into our marriage by loving our marriage with all our heart, mind and soul. 

The same thing is true with our attitude about God. He wants us to love him not just with our mind, but with our heart and soul too.

These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.
They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men. 
Matthew 15:8-9 (Where is the relationship?)

4. Is your attitude about your marriage causing you to sin? Are your thoughts and feelings getting in the way of your actions? Have you taken your eyes off the spiritual Christ for your marriage? Or maybe you “need” the spiritual Christ for your marriage. 

To see your marriage in the positive light, and to understand why some things happen the way they do, or why you might feel a certain way all comes down to what you believe is right and good for your marriage. 

All of these things take the right attitude to be able to understand them with the spiritual clarity they deserve. The right attitude isn’t afraid to love God wholly. The right attitude is not afraid to be humble and meek in front of others. The right attitude is the spiritually happy attitude. 

If you do not trust God for the guidance and that your marriage needs, who are you going to trust? Yourself? Society? Culture? What do they know? Where does their judgment for “your marriage” come from? 

God wants you to love Him enough that you will build your marriage upon His foundation of wisdom and truth. 

Therefore, everyone who hears these words of mind and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is alike a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house, and it fell with a great crash. Matthew 7:24-27

5. Do you know how to recognize God’s positive results in your marriage?

A good tree always bares good fruit, which becomes noticeably apparent to everyone. When you finally give up “your way” for “God’s way” your attitude begins to change, and you will start to feel better about your self. You become a tree of abundance for your marriage. 

Your whole outlook and position in the marriage will transform into an optimistic and constructive way of thinking. This happens because you have trusted in God for the care of your marriage. Your marriage now stands on the foundation called the rock. The rain and winds came, and blew dangerously against your house, but your attitude saved it from falling.

6. Do you know how to keep allowing God’s life force in your marriage? Never lose sight of who you are. You are a child of God and God is your source, not society nor culture but The Omnipotent God! Open your eyes and start seeing with the wisdom that God has given you. 

a. Imitate Christ’s forgiving attitude
b. Let God’s love guide your life
c. Let the peace of Jesus rule in your heart
d. Keep God’s word in your heart at all times

This is the wisdom Gods children inherit when they have trusted in Him. Your positive attitude and outlook on life can now love God with all your heart, mind and soul. And because you have shown you love God by trusting in Him, he has given you the spiritually positive attitude for your marriage. 

Therefore as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Galatians 3:12-14

Questions For Couples

1. What kind of an attitude do you have in your marriage? Do you think your atttiude is detrimental or good for your marriage? Why is it good or bad for your marriage?

2. In what ways can you change your attitude and be a more loving and compassionate marriage partner?

3. Are you trusting in God for your marriage? Are you praying every day for wisdom and guidance from God?

4. How can we, as children of God, begin to put God at the forefront of our marriage?