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Why
Some People Cheat The main reason that some people act on things that
go against their moral conscience is because they do not have a personal
relationship with their Creator. If they did, they wouldn’t have any
reason or the temptation to cheat. Adulterers don’t really go by any
moral guidelines telling them not to cheat. Cheaters simply allow
society to shape and mold who they are, rather than allow God to go to
work in their lives. When we don’t apply our spiritual self to our
life, and we come up against temptation, we believe it’s ok to cheat
just because we are unhappy in our marriage or just because we can. Emotionally Needy
Emotionally needy people are more apt to cross over
the boundaries of marriage and have affairs. These superficial
relationships feel good temporarily, but when the relationship begins to
wane, neediness comes back. Neediness is a learned emotion brought on by
childhood. Needy people have either been abandoned by a parent, went
through a parents divorce, or feel unloved and unwanted, therefore, out
of their own fear and anxiety they reach out to strangers in an attempt
to make themselves feel better. It doesn’t work. The simple truth is
when we decide to put our faith and trust in God rather than in people
we find that we don’t need to use others to get our needs met. You do not have because you do not ask? (What a revelation) When you ask, you do not receive because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? (James 4:2-4) Low
Self-Image
We all want to be loved, praised, and adored. Some
of us need this adoration to the point of degrading ourselves to get it.
We believe the lies strangers tell us. How wonderful we are, how sexy we
are, how beautiful we are. These lies have literally filled us up with
euphoric lust for that other person. But just like a drug addict who
needs a fix every so often to make himself feel good, so does the person
with a low self-image need another person doting over them to make
themselves feel good. Cheating is an addiction. Flirting is an
addiction. This is why affairs usually don’t work. God did not create
people to have a low-self worth. No, we have created that image of
ourselves by how we think and what we believe. For we are God’s workmanship, created in
Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to
do. (Ephesians 2:10) Living
in the Past
Without God in our life we have no purpose. We do
not know who we are and what we’re capable of becoming or what our
potential is. Most
adulterers carry around baggage from their past – this is why they
have conflict in their relationships; the past keeps haunting them.
Negative emotions about the past takes a precedent in their lives,
therefore they can’t or won’t move on and start living for today.
Many sober alcoholics are like this, even after five, ten, fifteen
years, their still attending AA meetings and still talking about their
past alcoholic life as if it were still here. What about moving on and
away from the past and becoming a NEW person in Christ? Be transformed
with a renewing of your mind. Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this
world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds. Then you will
be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing
and perfect will. (Romans 12:2) Too
Much Pride
Pride is a defense mechanism that keeps us safe and
secure in our own little world. We have pride because of a low-self
image. As long as we don’t ask for help, or as long as we stay away
from learning about what God can do for our life we won’t be
vulnerable to opening ourselves up and letting others see who we really
are. Too much pride in our attitude and beliefs (self-importance) makes
us think we deserve to have whatever our hearts desire – we think we
are free to have sex with whomever we want even when we are married. But
our Creator - our Source for REAL love now and eternal life later has
not given us this freedom, we have stolen it! How can you believe if you accept praise from one
another, yet make no effort to obtain praise that comes from the only
God? (John 5:44) |