Whose Responsibility Is It?
Copyright © 2007 Heaven Ministries

Marriage is a big responsibility and a challenging endeavor. Once you get married, it’s not just about you anymore; it is about both of you; it is about taking care of one another’s needs the best you can; it is the willingness to take the time to have a healthy marriage. It is the perseverance to hang in there no matter what. The responsibilities of marriage and family are huge. 

I talk an awful lot about responsibilities, roles and duties in marriage because it is very important that couples realize what their responsibilities are, and then fulfill them in a proper Christian manner. This is where cooperation and consideration come into play for balancing out the efforts of both the husband and wife and helping marriage to run efficiently and balanced. 

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vein conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should not only look to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. 
(Philippians 2:3-5 NIV) 

Marriage is not designed to make only one person in the marriage happy. Unfortunately, many couples have been conditioned into believing that marriage is a way to get what they want from each other. But this is the wrong attitude to have. When we carry around a self-seeking position we will act on that attitude and become selfish. After a time, we don’t even realize how selfish we have been with each other. 

All relationships take cooperation, and this is where submission comes in. Husband and wife should treat marriage as a team effort, and when they submit to each other’s needs they are working together and cooperating in the way that God intended. It is crucial that both husband and wife understand the concepts of submission for getting along with one another and for partaking in the tasks and duties assigned to them, without having a bad attitude, but doing them because of their love of God. 

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit. (James 3:17 NIV)

Working towards being a responsible marriage partner is adhering to the roles given to us by God. For an example, for the Christian wife her duty is to be respectful and considerate to her husband. This is her foundation to work off of at all times and in all things. For the Christian husband, he is to love his wife as Christ does the Church. That is his foundation to work off of at all times and in all things. Sometimes we won’t feel like being nice, but it’s not about feelings, but about doing what’s right in the sight of God. 

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife and likewise the wife to her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:3 NIV)