Healthy Relationships Involve Team Players
Heaven Ministries

All relationships, no matter if it is a friend to a friend, spouse to spouse, parent to child, coworker to coworker, all take continual team effort to make them flow gracefully and efficiently. One way marriage flows efficiently is when husband and wife both submit to each others needs.  Parents and children also need to succumb to each other for the household to run smoothly and in a well organized manner.

Two people in marriage can be a team or they can be rivals of each other. Both take effort but team players play fair. Often times, husband and wife are competitive with each other. And there is nothing wrong with that as long as it is in a loving and fun way. But when it hurts one another then of course that wouldn’t be playing fair.

The golden rule in all relationships is to treat others the way we would like to be treated. But are we doing that?  I don’t believe many of us are. If that were the case why is there so much divorce in the world? Why is there so much turn around in business and why is your best friend your best friend only until you find someone else?

Do not judge and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.  Luke 6:37-38

A forgiving and loving spirit shows that a person has received God’s forgiveness for themselves. If someone is unable to forgive you, it usually means they have not forgiven themselves and have not received God’s forgiveness either.  

If we are critical of those we are in relationships with we should ask ourselves why can I not accept them? Why am I judgmental and critical? Most of the time, it comes back to ourselves and how we feel about the person we are.  Maybe we need to forgive ourselves?

In all relationships we should give constructive criticism, which is always motivated by love. This is why it is called “constructive” because it helps build up the other person in a way that is positive and productive for them in their life. We all need constructive criticism at sometime or other in our life, otherwise how would we learn from our mistakes, or how would we know to improve and do better?

Besides giving of ourselves (submitting) and learning to give constructive criticism, relationships also need productive communication. Marriage relationships especially need effective communication that expresses oneself in a good way, or that listens to the other person in a good way. Behaving contrary or invalidating our spouse’s feelings is never good communication. All relationships need communication that won’t break down the structural integrity of the relationship, but builds it up instead.

Pride also stands in the way of having a healthy and productive relationship. For one thing, pride keeps us from be able to reason with others properly. This causes much unneeded animosity in business, and arguments in marriage and friendships. Pride makes us feel so sure that our way is the only way that we don’t look for a middle ground.  But as we all know healthy loving relationships take humbleness and team effort if they are to run smoothly and efficiently. Are you playing fair in your relationships?

Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and servant of all.” Mark 9:35

Questions for Couples

1. What is the "golden rule" in all relationships?

2. How often do you apply the "golden rule" principle in your marriage?

3. How can pride interfere in our communications with others?

4. Would you say that you are playing fair in your marriage? Why or why not? If you answered "not fair", then write down four ways in which you can start to play fair and put away the unfair games for good.

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